The rule will help you make decisions from a space of reflection. This way, you’ll be able to really evaluate your contributions to what worked and what didn’t work in the relationship.
If you’re trying to win your ex back: “I really like you, but I need time to think about everything” or “I think spending some time apart would be good for both of us. ” If you’re trying to move on: “You’re important to me, but this doesn’t feel right anymore. I need some time to think about me” or “I want us to be friends, but I need some space before I can do that. ”
Ask your friends not to talk about your ex when you’re around. The last thing you want is a reminder about them.
They start showing that they’re worried about you by sending texts or leaving voicemails. They apologize for hurting you. They express that they want to make things up to you by saying so or surprising you with gifts.
Your relationship with your ex has become a habit you need to break. It takes about 21 days to break a habit, so giving yourself three times the time to do that will help you move on. [8] X Research source
We know this is a hard step, but the no contact rule means stopping all communication on every platform. Remember you are doing this to give yourself time to heal.
Call up a friend you haven’t seen in ages or add an extra gym day to your daily routine. See where and how you can fill gaps in your schedule. Do some extra studying or put in some overtime at work. This will help you stay occupied and forget about your ex while getting ahead.
Visit a family member you haven’t seen in a few years. Go out to lunch with a close friend or colleague. Attend a local concert or take a trip to an amusement park with family and friends.
Strengthening new and old relationships can help you reflect on the relationship you have with your ex. Is it a relationship you want to strengthen after no contact, or are you ready to move on?
Go on a road trip, book a solo retreat, or visit a family member for 30 to 60 days. Putting yourself in a new environment that doesn’t remind you of them will make not contacting them that much easier. If you’ve always wanted to learn to paint or play the guitar, sign up for classes. Occupying your time with a new hobby will keep you from pressing that call button.
Exercising for at least 30 minutes a day is a great way to increase your overall health and distract yourself from contacting your ex. The type of activity you do doesn’t matter as long as you’re having fun! Try walking, running, swimming, dancing, or yoga. The possibilities are endless! Invite a friend to exercise with you to make the task even more enjoyable. Strengthen a friendship while making yourself stronger.
What do I miss about our relationship? What do I not miss about our relationship? What did I learn from this breakup?
Let them know your intentions right away by telling them if you want to pursue a friendship or relationship with them. Try texting them, “Thank you for giving me time to think. After some reflection, I’d like to just be friends if that’s okay with you” or “I’ve had some time to think about our relationship, and I think we should try dating each other again. ”[18] X Research source Send a simple text to start up a conversation like “Hey” or “Did you hear about the event tomorrow?”[19] X Research source
